Ona Luxury

How to ask for what you want

When you’re having sex, you know that feeling, the case of “ah, it’s so close yet so far”, or perhaps it’s more of an “um, hello, what about me?”
Perhaps we don’t want to offend or upset our intimate partner. Maybe we don’t feel like we deserve or have a need to be a focus of pleasure, or perhaps we would just rather wait till we are alone and do it ourselves to avoid any conflict or disruption.
It’s time we unlearn that your pleasure needs are less important than anyone else and start prioritising this. Pleasure goals 101!


and choose ‘faking it’ over ‘talking about it’ – mind-blowing, and I’m not talking about the percentage part; I’m talking about the ‘we don’t talk about it’ part!!
Your own individual pleasure is SO important! Orgasms or incredible intimacy experiences are vital for our overall wellbeing, stress levels, confidence, mental health and nervous system. Having our intimate needs met and satisfied is absolutely valid and essential, and we are going to talk through some ways you can achieve this.

There are many ways and variables to how this conversation can get started, and perhaps it may not even begin with a discussion. You may even mime your way to pleasure heaven.
Here are some ideas, tips and tricks we have picked up along the way, and we hope that some of these may help in the bedroom when it comes to asking for what you want!

If you are not saying anything, how are they to know something is amiss? If you flip it around for a second, by not communicating your needs and asking for what you want, you are neglecting yourself of the opportunity to sure-fire pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Sometimes it’s helpful is to begin a conversation that is open and vast and then bring in some of your key concerns. For example, “I’ve been thinking about our sex, what kind of sex do you think we have”? Ask a curiosity question, get the topic warmed up and allow space for your intimate partner to have their thoughts and opinions aired. Then, you can say, “I would love it if you spent more time on me, I’d really like it if we did more of (x)” or “I feel like we don’t often spend time during sex for me to orgasm as much as we do you, I’d love it if I came first” Boom! Delivered. Be clear, don’t run around the bush (no pun intended) 100 times, and kind of say what you want. It’s most powerful to be confident in the things you desire. You absolutely deserve to ask for what you want.

Did you know that pleasurable sex brings immense cognitive health benefits to many aspects of your life, mood, nervous system and general wellbeing? Let’s not throw this away like it doesn’t matter because it does! Get your pleasure!! No more fake orgasms or silencing your desires! You deserve pleasure!

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